Washington Wizards “Baltimore Pride” Kit
The Baltimore Bullets’ signature uniform between 1969 and 1973 featured a broad navy and orange racing stripe that wrapped from the players’ left shoulders to right hips. Because everything old is new again, the 2015–16 Washington Wizards’ “Baltimore Pride” uniforms feature a similar stripe that wraps around the players’ torsos. This stripe, however, is narrower and its positioning on the jersey and shorts perfectly cups their genitals and asses. It’s also placed on a tight, sleeved top that looks more like a pajama set worn by a small child than a sports uniform. Why, then, is this kit the best? Because in a disastrous season in which the Wiz are likely to miss the playoffs, these garish monstrosities are a solitary source of entertainment.