Best Hangover Cure

Spicy Lemongrass Beef Special Pho at Pho Viet
3513 14th St. NW, (202) 629-2839
Photograph by Darrow Montgomery
So your body is a stale, sweaty sock on the inside and a shrivelled bag of pleather seeping poisons on the outside. You were living so well last night! How the mighty fall. If you can make it to Pho Viet without vomiting on yourself, you should prop yourself up in a seat at the bar and gently drag your face through a bowl of this magical soup. Order it at full spice—the heat will burn the sin out of your wrecked body, and the sour will wake your taste buds up so your disgusting mouth can rediscover flavors other than “trash feet.” The organ meats and meatballs (the latter are textured like cooked Soylent Green) are all the protein and fat you need to get to the next meal. You’ll be hungry in two hours, so plan accordingly. Do not attempt to walk more than three blocks with a stomach full of this soup. Never drink again. Repeat next week.