Best Place to Sit at the Regal Gallery Place Stadium 14 Cinema

The wheelchair-accessible seats
701 7th St. NW, (202) 393-2121
There’s an old tradition that it’s bad luck to light more than two cigarettes from a single match, supposedly hearkening back to World War I: If the flame flickers in the night long enough for three butts, that’s time enough for an enemy sniper to draw a bead and kill you. I think of that every time some jerk lights up his cell phone at the movies, heedless of the fact he’s outing himself as an asshole to every single person seated behind him in the cinema, despite posted signs and preshow announcements asking him not to talk or text during the film. Only the wheelchair-accessible seats offer a line of sight to the screen that bypasses the laps of patrons who lack even the decency to cover their phone with a coat or something if they reeeeeally have a message that can’t wait two hours. (They don’t.) As with the accessible seats on the Metro, you shouldn’t wait to be asked to vacate these seats if you see an actual wheelchair-bound or elderly person come in. But until movie theaters start enforcing their no-cell-phone policies the way the gold-standard Alamo Drafthouse Chain does, ejecting cell phone users with no warning and no refund, you gotta do what you gotta do. Watching a film on a big screen in the dark with an audience is an experience worth protecting.